#Hurt Her Update on different point of views

Ok so this is to update the post I posted last week on Hurt her. After a few discussions with females and males, we finally realized some of what the guy point of view is on this situation. At first glance you can tell he is emotion less that he doesn't even seem to show one part of he is truly sorry for what he did. But as someone said we aren't paying attention to the first half of the video when she states that she did not like him when they was in college and he made it clear back then he wanted to be with her/ liked her. It wasn't until they graduated that she realized when they lived in the same building that she could like him because he carried her groceries in, now I know that is a dumb reason for someone to like someone but we don't fully know the background story to them. Maybe she was in a relationship at the time, or maybe she needed to see other girls wanting him to want him we will never know. But throughout the video you can tell she still wants to take him back because she loves him, but to him she probably was quick to get to for sexual needs, and he knew he could cheat without fully committing to her and she will take him back......

#HurtHer: We all fail to realize we was once her

Recently if you have not already seen surfacing on social media the hash tag #hurther on an girl who confronts her boyfriend on why he cheated. Many people have made jokes on this videoing saying that "they are going to bag her fuck her and do the same shit bull did to her." This one of the very post someone made on @Instagram calling her dumb, saying she stupid for staying with him but what they fail to realize is that we all fall victim to what this young lady has been through rather we want to admit them or not.

She shouldn't have to be called "dumb" for being with an guy she loved and she thought loved her back, she cared for him and he was not faithful to her. She didn't choose to end up being cheated on repeatedly but she did choose to stay with him, we only know what is shown in the 6:44 video on youtube we don't know there back story. Many Men cheat on Women and don't care to understand that when they cheat they make the Women develop trust issues if she didn't already have any, and it physically, emotionally, mentality messes her up because she no longer thinks she is good enough she begins to question your ever move and its nerve recking. The girl isn't dumb for forgiving him because the enemy will only try to break her. He has come to rob, steal and destroy and they both have the power to work through it and let go and let god because not only is forgiving him letting go of the pain she is holding on to as the bible says we are suppose to forgive but we will never forget so no she isn't dumb for forgiving him. Because who knows why he cheated maybe she wouldn't let him break up with her or he just wasn't ready to commit to one girl.

So no she is not dumb she is very smart for letting go and letting god because she will grow to be stronger and learn to love herself more than anyone else because unless she fully loves herself she can not love no other. Many people stop loving themselves first when they enter into relationships because they feel that they must love the other person more than or equal to the amount that they love each other which is false. You must love yourself first because no Man or Woman should be able to break you to feel like you are less than one.

For my past relationship I got into an hit and run accident during homecoming 2015 and I had to report home due to this incident. I had already brought my ticket and I knew the guy I was talking/dating did not pay for his ticket so since I wouldn't be able to attend, I gave him the ticket. So later that night I was texting him how I was afraid and what I did was dumb because I should've stopped this was my first car accident and I did not want to make my mom mad which I did. So as I was scrolling on twitter that night and had came across someone favorite his tweet, I had serious trust issues back then thank god I worked on that. But back to the story so I was like hmm who is this girl and clicked on her page then realized it was his Ex-girlfriend so I looked through her pictures like us girls do and seen that she said she was going out with her friends and the only thing I  knew was happening tonight was Lincoln University homecoming. So later on I let time pass by I was talking to my friends about the accident then one of the male Resident Assistant messaged me that my the guy I was talking to had girls in his room so I went back on twitter to check the girl page becoming an investigator now because I had to get to the bottom of this my friends went to his room to check for me he didn't answer, he had stopped texting me and guess what I seen the next day.....My blanket in the picture with the girl, yes my blanket lol now that I have your attention stay tuned for the story time on youtube....LOL but this had mentality broke me I questioned was I good enough, I went into depression me and him would fight and then I finally had enough when he blacked my eye and knew I had to leave because I didn't love myself and no Man should ever hit an Woman. So yes now I am able to share this story because I was once her.  

Women in the media & the expectations that the society puts on them: Dealing with body shaming, more

"When you judge a women by her appearance it doesn't define her, it defines you."- Dr. Steve Marabai

Amber Rose as Kanye West ex-girlfriend or Wiz Khalifa's son Sebastian Taylor Thomas. Recently Amber Rose made headlines when she organized "Slut Walk"http:/amberroseslutwalk.com/our-story  to stop people from shaming women with her mission to raising awareness about sexual injustice and gender inequality. The Amber Rose Slut Walk aims to impact an uplift while shifting the paradigm of rape culture. The event provides a safe, all-inclusive space to entertain, educate and empower. "Rape culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture." http://www.marshall.edu/wcenter/sexual-assault/rape-culture/
Down below I included an video from the women convocation at Lincoln University when the President said that "Men treat, Women the way women allow them to treat them. And that Men will use us up as long as we allow them to use us up, that when it comes time Men will marry the girl down the hall with the long dress on because the way that we (Women) carry ourselves and respect ourselves that commands and demand respect from us." Now this video isn't all bad but it is agreeing with the term that they use in the rape culture saying that oh she asked for it I didn't rape her. He begins to talk in 1:43 about "3 cases that happened at Lincoln University when young women, who after having done whatever they did with the young men, and then it didn't turn out the way they wanted it to turn out.....that they went to Public Safety and said he raped me", so my thing is how is it that the Women made this up because something didn't turn out?

People responded negatively to Rose's event, for example @pettyfrog on instagram is a "mixture of luv for Mariah Carey, hatred for The Kardashians & a whole lotta pettiness in between. Get out ya feelings how, it's Petty Frog B*tch." They had put up an picture of Amber Rose saying that she is another one that likes to Photoshop her waist to make it appear smaller but instead of bashing her for having cellulite and making it seem like all women are skinny or have big butts with no stretch marks or cellulite is so dumb and damaging to the female mind of insecurities. Its no telling why celebrities have fat transfers, or want bigger buttocks, lips, breasts or anything but it is up to us the women in society and males because they can cause the most damage to stop body shaming women for what they do or don't have.

No one understands fully why everyone is obssesed with their physical appearance. Saartjie Baartman: The orignial booty queen, she was more than a "booty queen," she was taken from her home, and put on display as a circus side show because her physique did not match Eurocentric standards of beauty. When she died, her body was mutilated and further put on display. This story is excellent example (and context)  for how the features of black women are reviled, then imitated. Features that have been a source of pride for black women for thousands of years were ridiculed by Europeans for centuries, and now the Western world is brazenly imitating them, and not offering attribution.  http://jezebel.com/saartje-baartman-the-original-booty-queen-1658569879 

where in this article they compare her to Kim Kardashian and said that "unlike Kim, she didn't just have her sizable assets in the way of talent" Which shows Kim Kardashian on the cover of Paper Magazine with an wine glass as talent or art. Saartjie Baartman was exhibited as freak show attractions in the 19th century and would have to dance around to entertain white people, she was looked at as an freak because back then this wasn't the norm for people to have such an huge backside. But today it is a everyday thing people aren't talking about what money they have saved in the bank but what they plan to do to look like this celebrity. I follow @Dr. Miami on snapchat and I've seen so many procedures done that I just thought that looks nasty look at the butt and how they remove the fat people are paying thousands of dollars for this. 

But I just don't understand because all my life I've been 125 pounds and always wanted to be bigger then what I am but until I took the time to realize that GOD made everyone the way he wanted us to be and that we should learn to love ourselves we will continue to try to change the way we look. Because big people want to be skinny and Skinny people want to be big its no in between so instead of spending money why not change some eating habits that you have, exercise, start to tell yourself you love that person in the mirror looking at you will always be unhappy. We will never understand why celebrities like Lil Kim, Nicki Minaj, K Michelle, Kim Kardashian, Kylie, Khole are changing themselves to appear better looking to the world but at the end of the day it isn't our jobs but it is our jobs as humans to support them and not go on their accounts bashing them or calling them for fake because that can really hurt someone inside. So from this post I want to work on change, work on loving myself and others around me and block the negatively of to support this.

Lincoln University President

African-American Women In Media

African-American women in media

 So over break for my class I was told to pick a category and choose 4 films from the 90's and 4 from the 2000 to watch. This is what I took from the movie and how it relates to some stereotypes that people use when talking about black women.

The Players Club

“The Players club”, written and directed by hip-hop star Ice Cube, is a uncensored black version of “Show girls” which is set in a “gentlemen’s club” also known as strip club to please your sexual desires where a stripper by the name of Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy) works to pay for her tuition. The film keeps the attention of viewers from all of the fights, partying, naked girls, and drama going on. It shows some of the truth that exotic dancers face on a day-to-day basis. The thing that sticks out the most is that Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy) wanted to attend an Black College but her father disapproved of her attending an black college because he wanted her to go upstate to attend a college that he felt was a good college because it was his money being used, and when she denied going to a college upstate he had said since you're that grown you move out and go see if you can take care of yourself. This changed the plot twist of the movie from a student who is going to college to now a stripper who has to take care of her child, while going through daddy issues of her own. When Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy) had moved out from living with her family she had moved in with her baby father who is a deadbeat dad who a week later said that he had needed space. She worked at a shoe store where she met Tricks (Adele Givens) and Ronnie (Chrystale Wilson) who was strippers down at the Player’s Club who said that she shouldn’t be working at no shoe store but instead using what her mother gave her for some money which in other words meant shaking that money maker (ASS).

When Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy) went to Player’s Club she was hesitant about going to meet Dollar Bill (Bernie Mac) who from the beginning couldn’t keep his eyes off of her that’s where the name Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy) came from, she was considered new booty and was beyond scared to get on the stage, Ronnie (Adele Givens)  had gave her a drink and some tips on how to make $$$ (Money) saying that this is a ratchet shack and you better shake what your mama gave you. The club had booty shaking music playing and horny men throwing cash at big asses, being a stripper is the most degraded experience. Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy) walked in a young lady but walked out a women knowing more about life than she thought she ever would before and that this money could be made fast and easy but also lost in the same amount of time it takes for you to gain it. She had a 4 year hustle plan that she would go to school in the daytime and work the club at night but you know how plans go we think that we map out everything clear but end up hitting bumps in the road that make the plan longer than what you anticipated.

When Diamond cousin Ebony (Monica Calhoun) came to town her mom had told her to try to keep her out of trouble. Ebony had (Monica Calhoun) seen what Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy)  had and wanted to do the same thing and work at the club, Dollar Bill (Bernie Mac) had said that the business of stripping started from Africa along time ago when Europeans saw beautiful black women walking around working, singing and had no shame in walking around butt naked. They would travel from village to village to look at them perform and when they took the idea to Europe to try to have the white women dance they had said Fuck that pay me which is why Dollar Bill (Bernie Mac) said that he gets 30% of the earnings. Which that part he talks about goes back to the 19th century ‘hottentot venus’ Sarah Baartman was enslaved by a Dutch farmer near Cape Town. Because of her remarkable physical features that pronounced her femininity most specifically her humongous hips, backside and enlarged labial lips, where people would come all around the world to see her dance. Which is similar to the ladies working at the strip club because “the show organizers would run an advertisement carried in national newspapers to attract people to attend the shows. Entrance was 2 shillings, that was pretty high priced in those days. The show promoters forced  Baartman to wear tight skin outfits that showcased her figure”. (Blackthen., 2016) Which the Britain who she was working for would take out an percentage of her money the same how Dollar bill (Bernie Mac) would do to them. Although the ladies chose to become strippers they still was forced to come out half naked to make that money. Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy)  cousin Ebony (Monica Calhoun) would stay out all night and have everyone worried about where she been, Diana had tried to keep Ebony (Monica Calhoun) out of trouble and hide the fact that she worked at the club with her. Diamond (Lisa Raye McCoy) was panicking because Ebony was doing all the wrong things to make money, she would go up to tables and ask if they wanted a dance all drunk and proceed to say that dancing not the only thing she does. Ebony became real comfortable with herself and was really pushing Diamond buttons when Lance (Monte Russell) Diamond new boo would come over and Ebony would just walk around with her panties and a t-shirt on, and when Diamond would say why don’t you put on some clothes she would say for who Lance he ain’t nobody.But mind you Ebony was messing around with her cousin Diamond boyfriend on the low, and when Diamond had found out she had beat Ebony ass then kicked her out.

Diamond long nights in the club was starting to catch up on her because she would go to sleep in class without waking up when the teacher would dismiss them. Her teacher had woke her up saying how do you expect to pass my class when you're always sleep unless you have some master plan to cheat or something, Diamond had stated a quote that he used today during class saying I don’t trust anyone information but my own. Dollar Bill was in indebt with some people that he had loaned some money from and would go through hell and high waters to hide from them instead of paying up his money, which shows him as a coon because he is portraying that black people are always indebt and don’t know how to budget and save to pay back their debt. “With that being said, African Americans are also among the poorest races with 27.5 percent of them living in poverty. What's even more disturbing is that 45.6 percent of children aged 6 and under live in poverty”. (Corbin, Matthew., 2016) When Diamond teacher had came in with his friends, Diamond had ran into the back because she was scared and felt that she was degrading herself. She skipped his class and when he finally found her he had joked about her running to the back like he was her father or something and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable   because sometimes you have to do what you have to do to make it in life.

Jamal (Oren Williams) Diamond son had told her parents that Ebony was working in the strip club with his mom, and when Diamond had came to pick him up her parents had said that I know you don’t have that little girl working in the strip club with you Diana. Diana had said that she not no little girl she can do what she wants, this took another turn because Diamond no longer looked out for Ebony after finding her in bed with Lance. Ebony would dance for Ronnie parties outside of the club with girls. Tricks had tricked Ebony into believing that she was going to be dancing at Junior party just to get Ebony to agree to do it. Blue (Jamie Foxx) and Diamond had went out when Blue had went to pick Diamond up her Dad had put so much fright in Blue that he kept looking at his watch the whole date. Ebony had called Diamond apologizing asking her if she has time to come pick her up from the hotel because she was skeptical about dancing for Junior party after finding out that she is the only girl who came. But Diamond wasn’t trying to hear that and continued with her date to find Ebony hours later raped on the bed covered in blood. Diamond and Blue went to the player’s club to look for Ronnie and then Diamond whooped her ass (GIRL FIGHT) breaking mirrors, blood, the fight was like a life or death situation because everything Diamond had battled in she let out for leaving her cousin on the bed to die and raping her when she was drunk which is why Diamond didn’t want her cousin to be around her. St. Louis (Larry McCoy) had finally ran into Dollar Bill after the day that the police had found him in the trunk of the car. Then everyone who Dollar Bill owed money had came to the player’s club to take Dollar Bill and collect what he had owed them, then they had burned down the player’s club. Diamond had graduated college, her and Blue started dating, Ebony was now working at the shoe store.

Crooklyn

“Crooklyn”, written by Clinque’ Lee, Joie Lee and directed by Spike Lee, is a black version of  “Full-House” that shows a normal African-American family living in Brooklyn during the 1973. Troy (Zelda Harris) is the only girl in a household with four rowdy brothers. It shows the neighborhood as good, with kids playing outside, old ladies outside watching the block. Troy and her family would have family dinner together which made them looked like a loving happy black family, they was a family living in poverty making it work to take care of five kids. Which compared to now no one even sits at the table to even talk about how their day went but instead go to eat in other places like the bedroom, although parents still make it day to day with a dollar stretching it to be ten dollars. The scenes would show the mom Carolyn Carmichael (Alfre Woodard) wakes up her children telling them that they need to clean the kitchen and start pulling their weight around here. Siblings would fight over food, television, and who did the dishes on which days. Snuffy (Spike Lee), Right Hand Man (N. Jeremi Duru), and their other friend was blowing in the brown paper bag to get high. In the poppy store (corner store) Puerto Rican singing and yelling at some  guy about his dog stinking up the store/ then you could see blacks busting jokes. In the store you could see a guy (Connie) cross dressing which this “Emasculated the black male who wore a dress for success” (Leo, 2013) which Dave Chappelle explains the problem to talk show host Oprah Winfrey saying that he don’t feel comfortable doing that no matter how much money they made. “Emasculation of the African American man today includes homosexuality, largely because our sons have no fathers in many of their homes and others are or have been molested. With no role models in the home, our young males are falling prey to the culture, perversions, peer pressure and experimentation”. (Staff., 2015) “The “angry black man” label that Lee has garnered, fairly or unfairly, burdens the reception to a lot of his work. And yet, it seems when he leans away from that, critics and audiences alike are still at sea as to how to respond” (The Film Experience.,2015) Vic (Isaiah Washington) is a well respected black man and tenant. Although Troy would be teased by a young boy from her block, “she is tough, clever, funny and every bit the daughter of her equally strong-willed mother”. (The Film Experience.,2015) Troy friend Brenda (Carmen Tillery) would hang out with the other girls on the block to play jump rope the kids would touch Brenda hair and say that she got that Puerto Rican hair it's so soft and good and that Troy has that nappy hair.“Your hair feels like pubic hair.” That was one of the first insults that someone hurled at my hair. She was a junior at my school. She would touch my hair and repeat this sentence to all present. I had to threaten her with violence to get her to stop touching my hair and comparing it to her pubes”.  (The Conversation., 2016)  Which from slavery to colonialism and school rules: A history myth about black people hair.  Mom (Carolyn) laid out the rules that the kids followed which required all of them eating their food, cleaning, and coming in to eat dinner together. Nate (Christopher Knowings) had to finish his black ice peas in order to leave the table like everyone else, the dad (Woody) (Delroy Lindo) had came in with ice cream for his family causing all his kids to become happy but Nate was left out from getting some ice cream because he was still finishing his dinner, and when he did finish the black eye peas he threw up. Quentin (Omar Scroggins) had to throw out the trash and had tried to put it in the neighbor trash can when he had got caught by the Neighbor Tony Eyes (David Patrick Kelly) who called Quentin a pig and his family are pigs. The mom comes out to see what was taking her son so long, when the neighbor had tried to say that her Quentin was putting trash in his can all week and he finally caught him, the mom doing what mom’s do had took up for her son and told the neighbor that he need to clean his house it smells like dog shit, Tony Eyes just kept yelling that he didn’t have this problem until you people moved around here (Black people). The neighbor basically lived in resentment of the fact that he has to live so close to so many black people.

Parents try to regain control over children talking back saying they watching tv, knowing that they aren’t suppose to. Troy is in the bathroom stuffing her bra with tissue, and her little brother Joseph (Tse-Mach Washington) was outside the bathroom door crying to get in, the mom came stomping upstairs saying that she told them they couldn’t watch television. Mom and Clinton (Carlton Williams) started to fight over the remote when they all fell down the stairs and the dad was pulling Clinton off the mom then just yelled Stop! What do a man have to do to get some respect in his own home! Everyone froze then the mom said to get your shit and call your brother and leave. This shifted the film for the rest of the movie in a strange way because now Troy was stealing her brother nickels to get her and her friend some ice cream, and when the mom approached Troy about the situation she said Clinton was lying, but Troy ended up still getting in trouble because Greg (Peewee Love) had told her mom that she was being mean, and making fun of him and his family being on welfare, so Troy had to apologize to him. But payback was real for Greg because when him and friends was sitting on the steps Troy had threw hot water out the window and said to stay off her stoop. Electric was cut off because the dad had forgot to pay it causing everyone to use candles temporary as lights until he paid the electric bill.

When Troy goes to visit her relatives down south over the summer, Aunt Song (Frances Foster) had said that Troy can stay as long as she wants, but Troy didn’t want to stay she told her mom because she barely knows these people. Viola (Patriece Nelson) had to give Troy something to wear to bed, Troy was surprised to hear crickets outside when it was time for bad saying that she had never heard that before. Aunt Song had hot comb Troy hair and said that her hair is nappy compared to Viola hair. When Troy went down south she experiences the expansive suburbs of the American South. It’s incredibly distracting, but also endearing as it’s an example of how the movie isn’t afraid to be fully in this girl’s experience.When Troy returns back home she finds out that her mom has lung cancer and feels like she has to step up to take care of the things that mama usually does because mama would make sure that everything was taken care of. Mom is similar to Mammy character, even though she is not a maid, or big, she makes sure that her family needs are met being more concerned with the welfare of others above herself, even though they are black. When her mom died she tried to keep her emotions bottled inside which only made her begin to have nightmares of her parents arguing, until her dad told her Troy she isn’t here anymore you have to let her go.

My Black Friday Experience

So you know on November 24th you and your family sit around to eat an share what they are thankful for. Well every year around this time since I was 16 years old  I would miss it and go to work because that extra time in a half was lovely. Well this year November 24, 2016 I didn't work but instead went to go shopping with my mom and uncle. First I took notice on the few stores that we did go to the sales some of the sales didn't really seem like a sale to me but the regular sale any other day, that's for one then because I wanted a Canon t5i I immediately ran over to see what was the prices cut down to so at target they listed the camera regular price as 799.99 and the black friday sell they was offering was 549.99 so me being a bargain shopper went online to refresh my memory on the price because I seen it on amazon for that much on a regular day and I told my mom it wasn't worth it because I didn't have the money right now. Although my mom offered to pay half I felt this is something I want to do and I should save up for it because its nothing that I need only a want. But back to black friday is it me or did this day become boring now since everyone online shops, or is it the only top sellers in stores would be TV, APPLE Products and game systems. We now live in a generation that what we see is what we want not what we need, Yes I can say I almost got caught up in this but it's no fun when your no longer shopping for a little kid because they appreciate christmas the most they look up to opening gifts in the morning, but its crazy to see what people was buying and how long the lines was in the stores. Do we not enjoy food with family anymore but instead shop, watch tv or stay on our phones, I even noticed some diners open which hurts my heart to think that someone is probably alone on THANKSGIVING and all we can do is spend money on stuff we don't need.

Baking Soda On Skin

Good Evening Lovely Readers,

So today November 24, 2016 I decided that I wanted to use baking soda mixed in with my regular cleansing products to make a paste. You know when you want something gone so bad that you go on google to figure out good ways to maybe get rid of that nasty pimple you have staring at you on your forehead. Well that is me right now, I am so tired of these nasty dark circles under my eye so as I am watching Crooklyn an a number of movies for my final paper I decided that Thanksgiving would be a good day for me to try out the Baking Soda Paste for a week challenge to see if it could help fade some of my dark marks off my fast. I am literally sitting here with the paste on as I type this up because what I read online was that it helps pH balance and has no chemicals an alone is good to use so I wouldn't to see how true this was.

Some websites that I seen said to mix it with honey or just water. Or to buy products that have baking soda in it like Biore' for example with me working at Ulta Beauty now I ran across this powder that you just add water to then put on your face but when you already tried a number of products and wasted $$money$$ the last thing you want to do is spend some more money.  I know thats how I think so instead I mixed a little box of arm & harmer that I got at shop rite while getting hot sauce because if it's one thing I can't live without is spicy food. And decided to try this out so I will blog if I notice any change the products I used in the next post and a video to help you guys notice the change incase I don't. DAY 1

Who I Am

Hello Bloggers, 

Some of you might be coming to my page from either someone telling you about my page or just from a random search. I know you all are probably wondering hmm who is this girl Bria Attiyah and what makes her different from other blogs. Well my point with this who I am it to tell you a little about myself. For starters my name is Bria P. I also go by Bria Attiyah on all social media outlets to expand my brand. I am currently enrolled at the First HBCU for some who don’t know what HBCU means I will explain for you Historically Black Colleges and Universities. The school that I attend is Lincoln University where I major in Mass Communication/ Visual Arts. This blog will focus on some of my thought on what I find to be hot topics, some of the video content that isn’t explained in my videos will be explained farther in a blog post so people can read the way I feel about situations. Also it will keep everyone up to date with the latest fashion trends and everything about me, some of the post will share events in my life that I been through in college to help other people like me avoid going down the same road as me. I didn’t really want to focus on one thing because with me being into all types of media I wanted to be relate to all things to draw different type of readers to come and read my blog post. Please stay tuned and buckle your seat belts for the ride. Every Tuesday I will create new blog post content for everyone to read. Thank you hope to see you all join my team